


What if I don’t see it?

by Onnoff



Series: Fictober19 [12]
Category: Magic Kaito
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fictober 2019, M/M, POV Hakuba Saguru, Saguru's mother is only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-17 12:28:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21054398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onnoff/pseuds/Onnoff
Summary: Day 12: "What if I don’t see it?"Saguru thinks about soulmates and science.(no, seriously, this whole thing is just him thinking)





	What if I don’t see it?

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is unbeta'd.

Saguru studied the lab report as he waited for class to begin. He’d been waiting to look over the results for a while now. Not that his results took that long to be analyzed. But it did take a while to gather a group of people, take samples, analyze those samples, and compile them all together in one report for comparative purposes. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was the one who suggested Hakuba Lab take a look into this area of science to study and research, as well as being part of the research team, he probably wouldn’t be allowed to use these data to compare to his own. Or bring them to read at school. He stared at the results.

_ “What if I don’t see it?” _

He remembered asking the question to his mother when he first learned about the existence of colorblindness as a genetic disorder, specifically achromatopsia or total color blindness. And not as the default state of being before meeting one’s soulmate. He’d been worried. What if he’d met them, but couldn’t tell because he was colorblind? What if he accidentally reject them? What if someone took advantage of his colorblindness and lied about being his soulmate? What about all the colorblind people out there? How did they find their soulmates?

His mother laughed softly and gently reassures him that there were other ways to be able to tell. As she combs her fingers through his hair, she told him that it wasn’t just the ability to see color that signals the meeting of one’s soulmate. Things like smell, hearing, the quickening of your pulse, these were all the things that happened as well. Color just happened to be the most obvious (“eye-catching” she’d said, winking at him as he groaned at her pun) signal. 

While reassured, it never really stopped him from thinking about it. While total color blindness was very uncommon, there were people out there who live with it. Wouldn’t it help? If they’d known of their condition before meeting their soulmate? That way, people can learn of what other signals and symptoms to take notice when one looked at their soulmate in the eyes for the first time.

So the research project began. Born out of his childish curiosity and desire to just  _ help _ . It took time. With how uncommon this condition is, their sample size were pretty small. So the project was slow, but steady as it collected more and more data from various sources. Thinking of new ways to approach the topic and realizing what other data they could collect to further study this. Saguru enjoyed studying the data and learning from them. Looking to see how it will all build up into something that could be of use to the general public. He didn’t really think of applying it to himself, even if he did give samples to the research. To see what things looked like before a person meet their soulmate. He was just curious. That’s all. That was his only reason for this particular interest.

That was until he moved back to Japan. 

He was grateful that his mother had been so observant of her own meeting with his father. Of all the other sensation she experienced when she first laid eyes on him. Because without that knowledge, Saguru wouldn’t have thought much about how he could very clearly hear the turbulent winds from outside the building as he looked at KID.

He could feel his heart beating faster, feel every nerve in his body light up, the sensation sending sparks throughout his body, could  _ smell _ the frigid winter air.

He looked closely to see any changes in expressions or emotions on KID’s grey face. 

Of course, there wasn’t any. KID was known for his poker face. His ability to remain unperturbed. To remain calm against all odds.

Saguru wanted to think it was the adrenaline. Heightening his senses, putting them into overdrive. 

But that didn’t explain how he could hear Nakamori-keibu from the different side of the building while staring up at KID. It didn’t explain how he could smell the flowers from a nearby flower shop, one he would eventually pass as Baaya drives him back from the scene, over two hundred meters away from where he was. 

It didn’t explain why Kuroba-kun had watched him so closely when he was transferred to the class, despite his choice to keep his distance from Saguru. It didn’t explain what Saguru now realized to be a hurt expression on Kuroba-kun’s face when he asked to accompany Aoko-san to her concert. It didn’t explain why, after so many months have passed, Kuroba-kun never approached him after taking so much interest in him. 

Of course, he submitted another sample to be analyzed right after his meeting with KID. It was a hunch, but his mother was rarely wrong.

Saguru lifted his arm so he could rest his face on the palm of his hand while looking at his results, positive for achromatopsia, and sighed. 

It was hard enough that his soulmate was probably KID, but no, he had to be colorblind as well. Between conflict of interest and lack of reaction to the sudden ability to see color, he could see why Kuroba-kun kept observing him. Why KID seem to be watching for some kind of reaction from him, always. Saguru could already feel a headache building as he wondered what he’s supposed to deal with the mess that was his life, when-

** _ Pop!_ **

The noise startled him out of his trance as he looked up, only to get a box of Pocky shoved in his face. He blinked and took it before the hand could shove it more aggressively into his face. Then looked up higher to stare at Kuroba-kun questioningly. Who... had already swiped the lab report from his table to look through.

“What is it that you’re reading that’s got you so caught up in some melodramatic mood to the point that you ignored Aoko?” Kuroba-kun asked, expressing his curiosity, judgement, and taunts all in one go.

“Just a lab report from a project I’m working on with the Lab, Kuroba-kun,” he replied tiredly, opening the box of Pocky gifted to him. Bought for him, because he knew for a fact that Kuroba-kun did not care for the strawberry flavor, which was Saguru’s favorite. 

“Uh huh, yeah? And?” Kuroba-kun continued to flip through the report. Saguru can’t tell if he was actually reading, skimming the report or just flipping to look like he was. Keep up the nosy classmate act while not actually intruding on Saguru’s private business.

“Well, I know for sure now that I have total color blindness,” he said lightly as he watched Kuroba-kun closely for a reaction.

There. A stutter of movement when he went to flip another page of the report. Then flipping the whole thing back to the first page, eyes moving quickly before tossing it back in Saguru’s direction. 

Maybe he was just overthinking. Maybe he was looking too deeply into the meaning of things. Maybe he was just a boy with a crush being too hopeful. Maybe was right.

Kuroba-kun looked like he was about to move back to his desk, looking like he’d lost interest when it was the exact opposite if the intense look in his eyes meant anything. Saguru didn’t let it end there.

“I was thinking that it must be quite sad for my soulmate, to see that I had no reactions about all the colors visible, should we meet,” he said, looking at Kuroba-kun, who’d stop walking to listen to him. “I’m worried that it might look like I’ve rejected them, even if I didn’t mean to.”

For a moment, it seemed as if his words had turned Kuroba-kun into an incredibly life-like statue. Then, as if he was cracked open, released from his stone-like confines, Kuroba-kun relaxed.

“Haa?” He turned to look at Saguru with an annoyed expression on his face. “Aren’t you overthinking this a bit much?” Kuroba-kun punched him lightly in the arm. He looked awkward. All open and exposed in front of Saguru. Behind the annoyance was worry. Saguru smiled up at him.

“You’re probably right, Kuroba-kun.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm using fictober19 as writing practice to push myself to write something short everyday. But that means that I don't get the time to flesh out each of the stories I'm posting for fictober. 
> 
> I plan to go back to expand (and definitely edit) on all of my fictober fics eventually, but I'll prob put priority to work on the ones that got the most interest first. So if you'd like me to expand on this fic, please leave a comment below.


End file.
